For some light inspiration, we’ve snagged for fun a few unusual outtakes (even if a bit off-kilter) from different sources regarding tips on how to be a gentleman.
Two Gems from Antonio Centeno, President of A Tailored Suit.com:
1. Accessories such as a pocket square and proper jewelry will really show class, intelligence, and sophistication. These characteristics will show through to a potential employer before you say a word because of how you look. What employer out there is looking for a trashy, stupid, and crude man to fill their position? Not one; therefore, look the part for the job…
2. Men don’t use three-in-one shampoo/bodywash/shave cream no matter which big razor manufacturer tells them to, nor do they use cheap body spray in place of a good cologne Men brush their teeth twice a day. Men bathe regularly. Men purchase quality clothes and shoes even if that means spending more money and getting that new video game next paycheck.
Two points of entertaining advice from LifeHack.org:
1. Put effort into your appearance. Keep yourself clean, showered, and groomed. Women do enjoy scruffy, but controlled scruffy – you don’t want your date asking where you hide your cardboard sign and paper cup.
2. Nobody’s looking to hire or date a Ken doll. Our professional and personal lives are now fused together thanks to technology, so drop all that compartmentalizing and be authentic 24/7. Let your guard down and stop trying to look so glossy. Not to sound all hippy, but just be.
What’s ironic about the art of being yourself is what makes you unique is usually what makes you self-conscious. The flaws you find irritating are appealing and endearing to everyone else – they’re what set you apart and make you memorable. Being at ease with who you are is the sign of a true gentleman. Gentlemen don’t lie or mislead – they’re as comfortable with themselves as they want you to be.
Two nuggets from AskMen.com:
1. Have Context and Self-Awareness. In a social setting, the modern gentleman is immediately aware of the tone and setting in which he finds himself. If you’re at a $5,000/plate fundraising dinner, that shouldn’t be your cue to drink combatively and test your personal limits.
On the other hand, no one likes a wet blanket. If everyone else is dancing on tables and singing off-key to Journey, unless you’re abstaining for other reasons, by all means indulge and have a good time. Whatever the case, you don’t want to be remembered as the guy who was out of touch with the rest of the party. That’s a good way to make sure you aren’t invited back.
2. Make Others Feel Like They’re the Center of Attention. Most gatherings [consist of] wallflowers, attention hogs and social butterflies…Regardless of who you’re talking to, you want them to leave feeling like the conversation they had with you was the most rewarding one they’ve had all day.
You should neither marginalize a quiet type by overpowering him, nor should you try to belittle a big talker through feigned apathy. Whoever you’re talking to, engage them. Listen. Ask intelligent questions. Even if you’d rather wipe your ass with poison ivy than discuss the topic at hand, 30 seconds of engagement will earn you far more goodwill than five minutes of eye rolling.
Another two from Aplus.com:
1. A gentleman listens: If you want to get to know a person, ask them questions… and listen to their responses. Listening does not mean “waiting for your chance to talk.” It means being attentive, learning to read responses, understand reactions, and navigating someone’s emotional landscape.
2. A gentleman keeps his word and a secret: Don’t commit yourself to any obligation that you are not willing to brave fire, famine, and flood to fulfill. Likewise, when you are entrusted with a secret, guard it as closely as you do your own.
There is no breakup, no fight, no argument, no falling out that absolves you from this responsibility. Live and die with the secrets entrusted to you locked away in your heart.
Two ways a woman knows she is dating a true gentleman from Jamesmsama.com:
1. A true gentleman will give a woman answers—No matter how awkward or uncomfortable a situation is, a real man will approach it, and you, with respect. I have always felt that a mark of a man is how he handles conflict, criticism, and less-than-ideal situations. A man will not dance around answers or make excuses. If there is something you two need to talk about, he will talk about it.
2. A true gentleman will make others want to be the best version of themselves, without changing who they really are—A man will empower those around him. He will strive for greatness and therefore inspire others to strive for it as well.
This not only includes friends and co-workers, but also significant others. As Mark Twain said – Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.
Two fierce pointers from FierceGentleman.com:
1. A gentleman takes care of his physical appearance & style. No matter what industry he is in, or what his station in life, the fierce gentleman is dressed for success every day. He takes no days off from excellence, and this is reflected in his dress as well as in his attitude.
He has cultivated a personal style as a manner of creative self-expression in the world and navigates by his own compass, without waffling in response to “fashion trends.” Plenty of men dress well and take good care of themselves, but not all of them are gentlemen, nor are all of them particularly fierce.
2. A fierce gentleman has backbone. Despite being accommodating, considerate, helpful and fundamentally of service, the fierce gentleman is the farthest thing possible from a doormat. Because of his intimate awareness of his own limits and his constant striving to live and playing at his edge, he knows what he can and cannot do, and has no qualms about saying “No” or laughing off unreasonable requests or onerous expectations.
Because he has done and is doing his “work,” he knows his own weak areas and trigger points, and is very careful to avoid them altogether or navigate around them. Because he knows what he is about in life, he follows his own strong compass with integrity, and categorically refuses to be pulled off-mission by this or that influence or request. A fierce gentleman is so consistent and trustable in this regard that a person may set their own compass by his.
From ThoughtCatalog.com:
1. Do not be afraid of accessorizing, because a pair of nice shoes or a classy watch can upgrade you almost immediately, as explained in the Beyoncé song.
2. Be compassionate, and know that you are allowed to experience the full range of human emotion. Where the gentleman of our grandparents’ generation might have prided himself on keeping all of his feelings in check for fear of seeming ‘feminine,’ a real gentleman knows that the best thing about him is his ability to be kind and empathetic. Everything else — yes, even the suit — is just icing on the cake.
Our Two-Cents :
1. Present yourself as top notch and know how to suit up well with the most basic of education freely given to you in the Parisian Gentleman Academy. Have interesting lapels on your suit coats, know what a collar gap is (and avoid having one)…and finally, don’t wear suits that are too large for you.
2. Each day, finish something that you’ve started. Confusion is triggered when you don’t finish what you start and then try to do something else. Leaving loose ends untied is an act of refusal that can create a state of chaos within the mind. If you want to free your mind and earn respect in the process, find something to finish.
If you just cleaned the windows on your car and walked away from the job, then you will experience an interrupted cycle of thought. Later on, when you have trouble concentrating, you can choose to go back to the car and finish cleaning it inside and out. Suddenly you are able to concentrate fully, as you have freed space in your mind to function more effectively. An extraordinary gentleman finishes what he starts.
Pictures by Cesare Attolini.
